Non ricordo l’ultima volta che ho fatto l’albero di Natale ma saranno piu’ di 10 anni. Cosi’ quest’anno ho voluto farlo io ed e’ stato molto piacievole. Ha un significato particolare per me questo albero, ed e’ venuto talmente bello che sono sicuro saro’ molto triste quando arrivera’ il momento di disfarlo.
I love this song and it’s words. Here’s the translation in English
Slowly dying are those who walk among people without seeing them anymore
Slowly dying are those who refuse to listen to new ideas other then their own
Slowly dying are those wo have no more passion,
those that routinely walk the same way every day
those that will not go anywhere when it starts raining
those that will let sadness esclude them from life
look for me among the men who believe , who can lose sometime but it’s never over
look for me and I will stay next to you
Slowly dying are those who never take risks
Slowly dying are those who’d rather care only about themselves to stay out of troubles
Slowly dying are those who fears to have feeling and will never fall in love again
Those that stay in front of an ocean and still can’t believe in eternity
Those who because of doubts will never make a choice
Those who live without curiosity
look for me with your heartbeat and you will find me
in the morning colours, that’s when you will want me
look for me among the men who have trust
if you look for me then you will recognise me
as our hands will touch and as we look in each other eyes I want to scream
that I am here and we will never die
Last night I was having dinner at Sari Organik in front of a beautiful sunset. It was a nice moment although a bit nostalgic because the time of my departure was nearing.
I love taking pictures and since I moved to Ubud I always wanted to take a picture of fireflies. I am often surrounded by them when I am outside in the evening time. Unfortunately they are not easy to be photographed in the dark, and all my attempts miserably failed. Fireflies bring back childhood memories as I grew up in the countryside. There use to be many in Italy at that time, but through the years they gradually disappeared because of the herbicides used in the fields by the farmers.
At some point, last night, I noticed something like a drop of water falling from the ceiling. Puzzled by that I looked closely on the table
and there it was, a firefly. It looked like it was disoriented or about to die. So I quickly grabbed my phone and started taking pictures. And finally I captured this nice shot of this beautiful creature. My dream came true and I was so happy. Later on she jumped on my shirt, I was so excited I could take her home with me. I had to walk a bit but surprisingly she never flew away. When we were at home I put her in my bedroom and a bit later it looked like she regained her strength. So I switched off the light and there she was, flying again across the ceiling. It was such a cool feeling to watch her…
I think there are some lessons to be learned from this story. The first is that dreams always come true if you are patient enough and willing to never give up. The second is that in life you don’t need to be a strong powerful creature to survive, it’s ok to be delicate and vulnerable like a tiny firefly. What matters is in whose hands you are going to end up with. If you are in good hands then you will be safe, and not matter who you are and how hard life is, you will be able to survive and fly high.
Well it’s time to pack my stuff again and get ready for my next trip. I am feeling a bit sad and I will definitely miss this place and this window where I often sit by and contemplate about my life. It was nice look outside and enjoy the nice cool breeze coming from the rice fields. I know now it was the right thing to come back here after what happened with Dian. I am glad I listened to my friend Ina who was saying: “Don’t let one bitch ruin your entire life. Don’t let her control you, she doesn’t deserve that”. Indeed coming back here helped me healing and brought closure to this bad chapter of my life. I am glad that this time I chose not to run away from the problem and just did the best I could to deal with it and move on. I am also glad I discover Reiki which really helped me recover and a opened a new realm of possibilities for the future. I thank Ina for that as well. Speaking of future I don’t know what will happen next. There are many uncertainties that prevent me to make a decision just yet. But time is on my side and I am confident things will take shape very soon. Anyway I know I will be back here at some point. But now I need to head back to Italy and reunite with my family in preparation for Christmas.
Today I decided I am not going to bother Ina. After all in Ubud there are plenty of choices. So I decided to go back to Kardashian Cafe & Spa. I have been there a few time as you can see from the pictures below. Before it has always to have a lunch or breakfast al fresco over the koi pond, with a beautiful view of the rice fields. But this time I went straight to the spa for an hour Reiki Chakra balance treatment. Chakras are the energy centres in our bodies that spin and distribute our prana / chi / essential life force. The practitioner name was Kade. Again I was able to get in a deep state of relaxation. This time I felt less pain and when I turned around, facing down, that was the best part. I feel so lucky to have found this source of healing.
Some people think that not having expectations will protect them from getting hurt. I am not sure that convinces me. Because when I do the most spontaneous little thing to make someone happy, even if I don’t expect anything at all, I get disappointed if I see I am not somehow appreciated. It’s human nature. And sometime hearing “thank you” is not enough, we want that appreciation to be somewhat special like the gift we gave. But people often forget, maybe because they are absorbed in their own problems, or it’s not important to them or not in their norms, and sometime because they simply don’t expect anything from people. They think that not expecting anything works for them and so it should work for anyone else around them. And inevitably that will end up hurting someone like me, because I am sensitive to others just like I am sensitive to myself. It’s interesting to note that these people are more likely to devote their appreciation to someone they admire, someone of greater importance, like a teacher, a leader, or some form of God. But they will not give too much importance to simple people like me, as the gift that they received was just too simple, frivolous. It is so sad to witness such behaviour but maybe that is what it takes to survive in this world… Nevertheless I rather be a simple guy doing my simple things. I really should not lose focus of who I am, and I am not going to show others my disappointment because a gift is a gift. Eventually I hope someone will appreciate me.
I want to share with you my experience of trying Reiki here in Ubud. It is a form of alternative medicine that uses a technique commonly called palm healing or hands-on-healing, through which the practitioners believe they can transfer universal energy in the form of qi. Reiki has its origins in Japan, it’s more of a spiritual practice and it is not tied to any religion or dogma. Although it has not being scientifically proven to be effective in the treatment of any illness, Reiki can enhance your body ability to heal itself and can help you achieve complete wellness by addressing the physical, mental and emotional issues that are holding you back.
My session was about an hour long. I simply lay down on the bed as my friend Ina, the practitioner, gently put her hands first on my forehead, and later on she moved them to a different part of the body. I was a bit nervous at first but eventually my body slowly entered a deep state or relaxation. I actually felt in a similar state before when many years ago I tried hypnotherapy. But in the case of Reiki I felt warm waves passing through my body, they were painful at times like they were washing away my emotional pain. As the session progressed I became more and more relaxed, and some memories were passing through my mind. After the session I realized that those memory were somehow connected with the pain that I was experiencing during the treatment. By the end of the session I was so calm, almost sleeping and when Ina woke me up I was so deeply relaxed that my body actually felt so heavy, I could hardly move.
Today, one day after the treatment, I feel a much better person. I am much more relaxed, my mind is clear, stress free and is actually refusing to think negative thoughts which is an amazing change for me. So I did some reading today on Reiki. To those of you who are skeptical, particularly those that need science as a proof, I am saying this: one thing is for sure, our subconscious mind is far more powerful than our conscious mind. You can read all about it in this article
But… that our subconscious mind is powerful and can be trained using suggestions, well… that I already know from the days I tried hypnotherapy because that is the main idea behind hypnosis. The subconscious mind will accept all suggestions that are sent to it provided that the conscious mind’s supervision is absent. But in the case of Reiki there was no talking of any sort. And that is what amazes me, it was all about energy flowing. So I did more reading and I found that there are measurable effects occurring during a Reiki treatment. Brain wave patterns of the practitioner and receiver synchronise at the Alpha State and pulse in synchrony with Schuman Resonance, a set of spectrum peaks in the extremely low frequency portion of the Earth‘s electromagnetic field spectrum. The biomagnetic field of the practitioner’s hands in this state, has been measured to be at least one thousand times amplified above normal levels. Infact Ina’s hands became really warm at some point. Independent medical research has shown that this range of frequencies will stimulate healing in the body, with specific frequencies being especially effective for different tissues. So there you have it, a bit of scientific explanation. And guess what, I found out that there is also a Hypno-Reiki available, which blends the two powerful healing therapies. So, all in all, you can be a skeptical or a believer, you may realize it or not, but one thing you cannot deny: the mind is very powerful and has unlimited potentials.
I woke up early today to go to the Ubud market and stock up on fruit and veggies. I am feeling better every day, the serenity of this place is definitely helping to recover from the terrible experience I went through with Dian. I am also excited that tonight I will have my first Reiki session. Finally I can concentrate more on myself and do what I like the most. These days I am back to writing on my blog, reorganising it and prepare it again to go live. Writing on my blog has always helped. After I left China about a year ago, I got lazy and started using Facebook instead. I guess not having the Chinese censorship in the way, which was blocking it in China, made Facebook more attractive for a while. But my experience on the world’s largest online community was a bit of a disappointment. The daily feed is full of crap, commercials and boring people. It becomes a routine every day to scroll up and down and try to find something interesting, what a waste of time. I felt it is more of a social “show off” place to keep your friends updated on what you do and where you are. But do I care about that? Honestly I didn’t feel at ease at posting real personal stuff in such a superficial arena. My blog instead is a place that I call my own. I could care less about a “like”. I write for my own enjoyment, to let it all out. My blog is like my friend, my good friend because here I feel more comfortable to write my own thoughts and feelings. It’s more personal and I feel less judged, and above all it really helps me to understand who I am, what I need and where I am heading.
It’s harvesting time in Ubud. As the rice is left out in the sun to dry, the farmers will let the ducks free in the fields to weed out and fertilize the land. Quite a spectacle.
I always do the same mistake – quickly fall in love with a young beautiful, flirtatious woman. I do the most romantic things to please her, I try to give the best of me but then I end up so hurt and disappointed. Because none of them really appreciate me for who I really am, they are all just so selfish. Maybe is time to leave Indonesia. If I stay here I will end up suffering even more, I know. I have seen enough here, and it’s pretty clear how things work. The good, educated and wise women will stay away from foreigners, go for the good local men. The rest are up for grabs but it is difficult to trust them. And it’s not just Indonesia, things are pretty much the same in any of the Asian countries I visited, particularly where there is poverty Thailand, Malaysia, Philippines, China: a western man is seen as an opportunity. You can use that at your advantage, meet a lot of women who are ready to throw themselves at you. But eventually you realize that you are just part of a game, nothing but a game. Some women are good at painting a rosy picture that yes indeed they can be good wives. But that’s just because they smell money and a better life. If things deteriorate and they no longer see an opportunity with you, they for will quickly vanish and try the same with the next man that shows up. After all there is plenty of supplies of men here, from many parts of the world, and after a few hit and miss, eventually a big fish will strike. But do I want to be one of them and do I want to be part of this game?
I spent some time in Yogyakarta and visited the famous temples. It was a good place to regroup. At the temples many visiting school teenagers, both boys and girls, stopped me and asked to take pictures with me. Made me feel like movie star for one day. It was a reminder that there are still good genuine people in this world
It’s a sad day. It’s Halloween isn’t it? No that is not the reason. As I am traveling on this train to my next destination I am reflecting on how I am getting increasingly skeptical about love. The more I keep trying, the bigger are the disappointments. Sometimes I think it’s like a curse, a destiny that I cannot escape. But it’s my fault too because I keep searching in the wrong places and easily fall for the trap of seduction and beauty. I am also reflecting on the direction society is heading to. With social media taking over our lives the chances to find and establish a healthy and enduring relationship are slowly dissipating. Maybe this is part of evolution. But what’s the point of getting married these days? To build a family and have someone that will take care of our needs when we are old? To make our parents and family happy, join the club sort of sea level. Or for economic reasons? Maybe… Anyway why getting married for love? Love is transitional. And unless you are super lucky, love will have a hard time surviving in this kind of society where it takes five minutes to install an app, create a profile and meet someone new. I am finding myself increasingly surrounded by people that once used to believe in real love, was hurt and now is out there trying to fill a hole, trying to get rid of that emptiness that this modernized, hyper-connected, instant gratification society has created in all of us. I feel most of us singles are becoming victims of our own loneliness, emotionally detached, lost in our social media life with no end in sight. That’s why I am sad today. Love is fading away, in and around me.
A major religious festival at the historic Gunung Lebah temple, which is not far from my home, has been going on for the most part of October and has reached its peak today. The religious festival comprises six different major rituals: Karya Mamungkah, Tawur Panca Wali Krama, Penyejeg Jagat, Tawur Pedanan, Ngenteg Linggih and Pedudusan Agung. As part of this, there are large-scale temple dedication and purification rituals coupled with major sacrificial rituals to appease nature’s spirits. In addition, Ubud locals – as the temple’s main custodians – participate in declaration of faith rituals. All these elaborate rituals mark the completion of the extensive renovation project of the temple. Here’s some pics I took from the street.
Tanah Lot is a rock formation off the Indonesian island of Bali. It is home to the pilgrimage temple Pura Tanah Lot , a popular tourist and cultural icon for photography and general exoticism. Tanah Lot means “Land in the Sea” in the Balinese language.
Sometime things in life require good balance. In Indonesia there are plenty of examples
This is the Mimosa Pudica or Shy Princess (Putri Malu) as they call it in Indonesia. A plant that is sensitive to touch.