为感情不如多爱自己些
作者: 来自感人故事网
译者: 爱尔兰UCD 赖小琪
曾经有过丰富的感情经历。最深的体会是，不爱的时候状态最好。
I have ever had abundant love experiences. My most impressive perception is that it is the best to be single.
当爱一个人的时候，你的心思都在他的身上，想着他，盼着他，担心是他，发愁是他，期望是他，失望是他，一颗心都在他人身上时，便没有了自己。你的喜怒哀乐，都是因为外在的原因。而一切的付出和期待，往往得到的是失望。期望越大，失望也越大。
When you love someone, all your attention is focused on him. You will be missing him, expecting to see him, worrying about him and feeling sad about him. In all, your whole heart has been dedicated to him without the least to yourself. All your happiness and sorrows stem from external factors, while all your giving and expectation will oftentimes result in desperation. The bigger your anticipation, the deeper your desperation.
不爱的时候，你的心思才收回到自己身上，为了自己的健康去合理地衣食住行，为了自己的美丽随心所欲地打扮，想成什么样就什么样，想做什么人就做什么人，不必考虑他人的眼光。这时你才能感觉到彻底的心灵上的自由和解放，完全为自己的喜好而活着。
When you are single, you will concentrate on yourself. You will arrange your dressing and dietary in a healthy manner and do whatever you like without considering others’ views. Only at that time will you feel downright relieved mentally and live entirely for yourself.
不爱的时候，心情最为平静，心态最为平稳，性情最为淡泊，与他人最好相处。没有多余的热情，没有多疑的猜忌，没有受伤的敏感，没有变态的恼怒，没有期望的焦虑，没有失望的伤心，没有不着边际的幻想。
When you are single, your mindset is the most placid and calm. It is also the easiest time for you to get along with others without too much hospitality, doubt, sensitivity, anger, anxiety and sadness and illusion.
不爱的时候，你有更多的时间用于丰富自己的心灵，有更多的精力来用于改善自己的生活，有更多的热情分散给朋友们，有更多的闲暇用于做你自己真正喜欢的事情，有更多的自信和笃定来塑造真正的自己。
When you are single, you have more time to enrich your soul and ameliorate your life quality. You have more passion towards your friends and more free time to do your favorites. Moreover, you have more confidence to actualize yourself!
感情，尤其是男女之间的感情，是世上最复杂最难解的方程式。深陷其中的人，无一不被烦恼和困惑缠绕，人心的复杂多变，世事的纷繁无常，都增添了感情这道题的难度，与其深陷其中而永世不得超生，不如多一些关爱给自己……
Love, especially between man and woman, is the most complicated thing in the world. Once you get trapped into it, you will be persecuted by endless emotional troubles. The volatility of human’s thinking and life affairs also add more difficulty to keeping an eternal love. Instead of being terribly bothered by loving someone, why not love yourself more?
Category Archives: Osaka
Guilty
After more than one year of trial the verdict finally came out. Katya was held to be guilty of an attempted murder. She was sentenced to 5 years in prison. Under the Russian criminal law, the minimum prison term for this offense is 6 years. However, the judge was merciful and took one year out, given that Katya has two minor children. Of course, Katya and her lawyers will appeal. But finally I can talk about it. You can read the whole story on this article. My honest and truthful deposition was an important testimony in the case. But they key factor in the trial was Katya’s son ~ Anthony. The judge put both Katya and her husband in separate rooms so that Anthony couldn’t see them during questioning. This was to ensure that none of them would put him under undue pressure or duress. Anthony understood that they were in a separate room, but went through the testimony all right. Interestingly, after the testimony the judge asked him whether he wanted to see his mom briefly – she asked him 3 times. And 3 times he said no. He said he did not want to see her ever again for what she did to the family.
If I look back into my life I am lucky to be still alive… It could be me in place of Katya’s husband…
Cosa sarà
Questa mattina non riuscivo a tirarmi su dal letto. Era come se mi sentissi un grosso macigno addosso. Pensavo a quante volte mi sono sentito così… e credo di aver iniziato molto presto. Ho cercato di farmi coraggio da solo: “Dai Davide! Vedrai ce la farai anche stavolta” – che non è poi così facile. Il mio cuore e’ stanco. Anche il cardiologo mi ha detto che soffro di complessi atriali prematuri, una forma leggera di aritmia che pare non desti preoccupazione. Ma insomma è stanchezza quella che provo anche se le ragioni sono tente. Non devo desistere, il mio viaggio continua e non tutti i mali vengono per nuocere, come dice il buon detto. “Non cadere nelle trappole Davide… Non ne vale la pena, non almeno a questo punto e mai per una donna bassina e perduta”….
Heart Broken
When a heart is broken you can glue it back together. But the heart is not the same anymore…. You can still see the cracks, and it can easily break again…
Malala speaks at the United Nations
Malala Yousafzai is my hero. She has a beautiful mind and an amazing courage. I have a deep respect and admiration for her. You can listen to her full speech here at the United Nations
Love
Love is not a feeling. Love is an action, an activity … Genuine love implies commitment and the exercise of wisdom … love as the will to extend oneself for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth … true love is an act of will that often transcends ephemeral feelings of love or cathexis, it is correct to say, ‘Love is as love does’.”
— M Scott Peck
Dedicato a Margherita Hack
D’accordo con Margherita Hack quando dice che il paradiso non è un condomino dove ritrovare parenti, amici e conoscenti. D’accordo poi che gli animali sono simili a noi. D’accordo anche che quando la morte arriva non serve più aver paura. Ma la scienza e’ una dottrina umana, quindi di per se limitata. Come la scienza non ha mai saputo spiegare Dio, nemmeno la fisica o la matematica saranno mai in grado di inventarsi una funzione che rappresenti l’intelligenza o l’intuito. Chi cerca trova, anche se pure questo non è mai scientificamente provato.
Detto da un ateo.
Barbaresco
Surgery n.9
Two years ago when I read about platelet-rich plasma therapy I was excited about the possibility of trying that for my soar knee that, due to many sport injuries, is suffering from osteoarthritis and extensive cartilage loss. It had become so bad that it was painful to walk, and at my young age it was hard to deal with the daily pain. Quite interesting I read that with a handful of stem cells it is possible to heal arthritis, get rid of the pain and almost feel like you have a brand new knee. The therapy is an outpatient procedure where blood is drawn from the bone marrow under local anesthesia. The blood is then immediately centrifuged so that the stem cells get separated from the rest of the blood. You get a blood derivative (MSC) that is injected into the joint cavity as a common infiltration. That is enough to activate the stem cells which are transformed in 20-30 days into cartilage cells and are able to repair the joint.
“The results,” assures Professor Ferdinando Priano, famous Orthopedic surgeon who teaches at the University of Genoa, and former president of the Italian Society of Arthroscopy, “are amazing. In 90-95% of cases, the pain decreases and improves joint mobility. There are no problems of rejection or adverse reactions. In reality,” explains Professor Priano, “the use of stem cells taken from the bone marrow has been around for thirty years. If it is used to accelerate the healing of fractures that are struggling to heal or to fill in loss of bone, or in the course of certain replacements of prosthetic joints. But it is only a few of years we are employing these cells to repair cartilage defects.” Basically the stem cells are like baby cells and not fully developed yet. As they grow they are able to multiply and transform in any kind of tissue. This will essentially facilitate the repair of the damaged bone or tissue in the body. Quite fascinating!!
When I read the article above I immediately went to visit Prof. Priano in Genova and when he looked at my knee I was told the bad news. “Your leg is not straight so even if we apply this therapy your knee is not likely to get any benefit from it.”. He suggested I had an Osteotomy to straighten the leg so that the body weight is off the damaged knee area and shifted to the other side of the knee, where the cartilage is still healthy. I have talked about this procedure in this post. So I decided to follow his advice and that’s why on December 2011 I was in Italy to undergo the Osteotomy performed by Prof. Priano.
Few months after the surgery the pain started to improve and I could finally walk with less pain. Although the situation was significantly better, recently I still had some discomfort. I knew I had to try the platelet-rich plasma therapy but I wasn’t too keen on undergoing another surgery. Finally last month I decided to gather all my courage and try. I was comforted by reading this article and find out that this therapy is now very popular among athletes with similar conditions.
I arrived in Italy during last weekend and Tuesday morning I was on my way to the city of Rapallo. There I checked into the private clinic Villa Azzurra, ready to undergo surgery number 9. The clinic is 
small but extremely nice, surrounded by a beautiful garden, sitting on the hills of the Italian riviera, not far from the sea. The very welcoming and serene atmosphere put me immediately at ease. The staff was very nice and courteous. I had to wait a few hours for my turn but finally at 3:30pm the nurse came to take me down to the operating room. “Here’s the Chinese guy” said Prof. Priano smiling at me. I was reassured to see him there. The procedure was quick, at first the blood was drawn from my arms and that was a little painful as they had to use long needles to go deep, near the bone marrow. I only had local anesthesia on the knee and Prof. Priano first cleaned the debris from the joint with a quick arthroscopy as the blood was centrifuged. Then he injected the blood derivative containing the stems cells into my knee. The whole procedure all took about 20 minutes. Two hours later Prof. Priano came to room and said that I could walk on my own and return home. As he left I expressed my gratitude to him. “Thank you professor!”.
It’s too early to say what the outcome is going to be but 3 days after the procedure my knee feel much better already and I can walk around normally without problems, it’s just a little swollen. Overall I am amazed of how simple the procedure was and how I quickly I was able to be back on my feet.
Let’s hope for the best!
Ferrari is Passion…
It was a fantastic weekend in Shanghai where for the first time in my life I went to a F1 Grand Prix. The Ferrari dominated the race and won with Alonso, how lucky that was! It was very emotional for me to be there and finally watch the competition live. F1 racing is my Dad’s favorites sport and I grew up watching the Grand Prix with him on TV. I was also very lucky to sit in a good location where most of the action was happening, right in front of my eyes. That got me so excited that I couldn’t contain my joy, so I called my dad a few times: “We are in first position!!”. Indeed it was a good way to reconnect with him. And what an amazing feeling watching the Ferrari going fast like a bullet, it made me feel so proud of being Italian! It was an unforgettable day and I fell in love again with F1 racing. I will for sure try to go watch other Grand Prix before the end of the season, because it’s not just the racing that was fun but it was a big gathering of people from all over the world, having fun, cheering and spending a great afternoon together.
La vita come un film
Nella mia vita ho sempre cercato di capire il perché delle cose, ho sempre cercato di andare a fondo su tutto, trovare una ragione, la verità, la giustizia, questi sono i miei ideali. Imparare una lezione a volte e dura e i più testardi dalla vita imparano poco. Ma c’è un momento in cui bisogna misurarsi con se stessi. E io voglio avere un ruolo in questo. Altrmenti cosa ho vissuto a fare? La mia vita e davvero stata come un film, piena di ricordi, di episodi. Può darsi che tutto non sia valso a niente. Non mi importa, sento che questo passo lo devo fare.
Dreams
A dream is like a signature. It’s an indelible mark of one’s thoughts, desires and aspirations…
A fantastic day
I have been waiting for this moment for such a long time. Today Nokia announced to the world the Lumia 720, the phone I have been working on since I started in the company last year. I was lucky that I was assigned to work on it and I realized from the beginning I was working on a really cool project. And I am not a guy who is afraid to take his stand, I was one of the few Nokians who, in the beginning, used go to work using an iPhone 4. It took courage. I always thought that if that if I could be convinced that I had a better product in my hand, I wouldn’t have any problems switching to a Windows Phone’s based device. And it’s not just that, I took my job very seriously and put all my effort and passion into it because I wanted Nokia to be successful.
Indeed the Nokia 720 is a cool phone, I love this review which says it all: “It’s what the 920 should’ve been”. I totally agree with that. The 720 is very slick and can take really amazing pictures, much better then my iPhone 4 which I don’t use anymore. I am really proud, not only to have been part of this team, a bunch of great people, but I am proud of what this company is accomplishing. I have to admit, I love Stephen Elop our CEO, his energy is always inspiring to me. I don’t understand why Wall Street, particularly guys like Jim Cramer, always throws shit at him for being a rookie. Mr. Elop has got talent, he is solid and he is delivering. In spite 
of all the headwinds, Nokia IS coming back and it’s great to be part of it. It is a hard battle everyday because this market is changing so quickly, but that’s why I love this job. I love challenges…
A special thanks goes to my mom and her support because when I was in Italy two weeks ago she organized an evening in a restaurant with some friends and family. She knew that February 25th was going to be an important day for me because of the Nokia 720 announcement in Barcelona. So for the event she ordered a special cake on which the chef created a cellphone made of marzipan… Lovely, as you can see in the picture. It touched my heart and my thoughts goes to her today for being so supportive… La Mamma e’ sempre la Mamma… as we Italians say…
Today the good news is also that I signed a contract with my landlord and I will move into my new house tomorrow. It is all so exciting… “New year, new start…” as Lin Lin said…
It’s a fantastic day…
On the way to 100
As long as I can remember she was for everybody Zia Dina. In reality she is not my aunt but my grandmother’s older sister. She was born in 1921 but few people knew her age because she wouldn’t tell anyone. But in the family I was one of the few that knew because as a child I used to spend a lot of time with her mom, my great grandma Nonna Maria, and she told me Zia Dina’s secret year of birth. I’ve always told Zia Dina that she is going to reach 100 years old. She is getting closer to that and we will see if I am right.
She has never worked in her life. Her family was poor but she married a rich man, liutenant Gianni Garino who then became head of treasury office for the city of Genova. Zia Dina’s father was against their marriage because he thought it couldn’t last. “I didn’t listen to him” she told me, in those times it was brave not to listen but that’s in her DNA. Last summer I accompanied her to her husband’s grave which is in cimitery of Chiavari. He died about 20 years ago of cancer, but she still loves him and misses him. It was so emotional to watch her under the hot beating sun cleaning her husband’s tomb and talking to him like he still alive. I will never forget that moment. He wasn’t the perfect husband, he gave her so much troubles, he had a crazy lifestyle, indeed he also cheated on her, but they survived a war and stayed together a lifetime. Zia Dina’s memories are becoming more nostalgic and her strength are quickly dissipating. During my last visit, before I left for China I brought her some tiramisu. She usually has some Prosecco wine to offer me but this time I was in for a treat. “Take the bottle from the corner drawer” she said. I opened the door and there it was, a bottle of French champagne, a 1988 vintage reserve of Veuve Clicqout, a gift from Zio Gianni. I was so surprised: “Its probably worth a fortune, you should keep it for a good occasion” I said. “What’s a better occasion than this?” she replied. She really touched my heart. They carried around that bottle for years, saving it for a special moment. I felt privileged and honored to share that special bottle with her. Zia Dina always regrets now refusing to have a child when she was younger and often warns me not to do the same mistake. But like her I never listen to anybody either… It must run in the family… “It is so difficult to find a good woman these days, a woman I can trust”. But she doesn’t insists because she understands me. In today’s society love and marriages that last for a lifetime are becoming more and more rare. It’s a pity..
Sunset Shadow
An old picture when I used to play in a band called Sunset Shadow in my teenage years
Tampere, my blue dream
It was during a conference call at work that somebody said: “David, you should come for a visit to Tampere”. My heart just jumped. It was unexpected. And now that I am really here in Finland, it still feels like a dream, reliving those memories of when I was a young boy. It’s been more than 20 years and Tampere hasn’t change much at all, which is such a contrast to China were everything changes so quickly. Another major difference is how clean this country really is, which is something that struck me also the first time I visited Finland. So as I walked through the city all the memories came back sending shivers down my spine. I am staying at the same hotel as I stayed with Simone in 1989, the Scandic City right in front of the railway station. It’s cold as hell and there’s lots of snow, but my heart feels warm being here. I still hear the voice of John chasing girls and signing to them: “Don’t tell me you love me!” a famous tune from the rock band Night Ranger. I still remember with Paolo we all played soccer game in the streets, 
in the middle of the night with a gorgeous blond girl, a hostess from some Airline. And how can I forget when with Marco we camped outside in a park and suffered the most freezing cold at night. Lots of memories. I came a few times here, in the summer, during the Christmas holiday. As soon as I had a chance I ran away from Italy and immersed myself in a city full of beauties. Some of them loved Italians, some of them hated us because we had a (much deserved) reputation of being playboy. Nevertheless we travelled and came here, we had fun with girls and it was so fun and adventurous. And as I looked around there still are a lot or pretty girls around. The Fat Lady disco bar is still there… It feels that the only thing that has changed here is my age. But time has passed, and as 40 years old the opportunity to do what I did when I was 20… are very few here… Plus I am not sure I could live in a place like this now, after leaving in big metropolis I would have a hard time to adjust to such a quite place like Finland. Maybe one day… But one thing that makes me really happy is that as young boy it was my dream to work for a Finnish company. I remember when I bought the sticker that it’s still on my guitar: “Tampere, my blue dream”. I still have it. And today, after so many years, that dream to work in Finland has finally come true. As I walked through the office of Nokia I felt an incredible sense of accomplishment. Life can be rewarding sometimes and it feels good.
Pia from Sweden
Party in Beijing
Dulcis in fundus
L’ultimo giorno a Chengdu l’ho voluto trascorrere da solo, dedicarmi un po’ a me stesso. Mi sono alzato tardi e ho lavorato un po’ perché dovevo seguire uno dei miei ragazzi a Pechino, poi sono sceso in strada perché avevo fame e volevo trovare un ristorantino carino dove finire in bellezza questa mini-vacanza. Avevo ancora voglia di assaggiare qualcosa di buono, speravo in un ristorante di Hot Pot di Chongqing ma era quasi impossibile che potessi trovarlo facilmente da solo senza saper leggere il Cinese. Così mi sono incamminato per strada molto spontaneamente e ho incominciato a esplorare la città, il che mi ricordava i vecchi tempi quando viaggiavo e c’era quell’incertezza nell’aria che rendeva tutto simile a un’avventura. Mi sono imbattuto subito in una zona dove c’era uno di quei plaza Cinesi dove trovi negozi di tutte le firme, Louis Vitton, Prada, Miu Miu, Boss, Armani Posche e per fino un negozio di abbigliamento della Maserati… E’ incredibile quanti soldi ha accumulato sto paese, pensavo, altro che Monti. Una volta entrato però mi sono reso conto che il plaza fosse semivuoto a parte qualche sporadico cliente. “Non e’ un buon segno” pensavo. C’erano solo un paio di ristoranti al quinto piano: “e per forza, se uno apre un ristorante qui chi ci viene?”. Mi sentivo un po’ perso e pensavo a cosa potrebbe succedere a tutti questi negozi vuoti se dovesse realmente esserci una crisi. Ma vabbe’ ho pensato che fosse meglio lasciar perdere i problemi economici. Così sono uscito e ho preso altre strade, in lontananza vedevo uno Starbuck situato in un altro plaza molto più modesto e tranquillo di quello in cui ero stato. Una volta arrivato ho preso l’ascensore, anche lì c’erano cinque piani, in ognuno dei quali un ristorante. Mentre salivamo con l’ascensore sentivo questo profumino davvero interessante. Arrivati all’ultimo piano sono sbucato in un locale abbastanza elegante ma l’ambiente e il profumo non mi convincevano. Così sono sceso a piedi al piano inferiore, quatto quatto, e una volta arrivato al quarto piano il mio fiuto felino mi avvisava che eravamo finalmente arrivati al posto che stavamo cercando. Mi hanno portato il menù in Cinese ma su tutte una scritta era leggibile: Chonqjing Hot Pot. Non ci potevo credere, il destino mi aveva portato esattamente dove volevo. Non e’ la prima volta che succede. E’ stato un pranzo fantastico per quanto era buono, e’ stato come baciare una donna per la prima volta. Che gusto, mi sono sentito come a casa mia. Non avevo mai avuto occasione di provare un ristorante che servisse la famosa Hot Pot di Chongjqing. Ne avevo sentito parlare da Mirella, Anna, e forse anche da altre. Ricordo che pure Faye, che era di Chongjing, me ne aveva parlato, molto tempo fa. Sono stato fortunato. E’ stato un pranzo di quelli da leccarsi i baffi. Peccato che ero da solo, tuttavia e’ stato piacevole godersi questa esperienza senza che nessuno potesse provarci a rovinarmi la festa. Meglio soli che mal accompagnati ma appena rientrato a Pechino dovrò mettermi a dieta…
Ciao Claudio
Ultimamente tra le tante amiche che ho a Pechino, ero finalmente riuscito a imbastire un’amicizia con Claudio un ragazzo italiano che lavora alla Microsoft di Milano. Claudio e’ una persona solare, un tipo molto alla buona, gentilissimo, sempre allegro e insieme abbiamo fatto quelle chiacchierate da classici amici italiani che a me mancavano da un pezzo. Ci siamo divertiti insomma in questi pochi mesi in cui e’ rimasto qui a Pechino per lavoro. E’ stato davvero un piacere conoscerlo anche se purtroppo era solo qui temporaneamente e domani tornerà in Italia. Sono certo che mi mancherà e spero ci siano altre occasioni per rincontrarsi e soprattutto spero di rivederlo qui a Pechino. Grazie Claudio!!